Zoe Jane
by Tennyo no Ame
Summary: Gaia's father loves her more than anything in the world; so why does he distance himself from her? Why does he keep himself away when all he wants is to hold her and tell how much he loves her? How deep does his love go?


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-Lyrics for "Zoe Jane" by Staind-

__

Well I want you to notice  
To notice when I'm not around  
And I know that your eyes see straight through me  
And speak to me without a sound

A twelve-year-old Gaia laid in the snow, her long hair pooling around her head in a golden silhouette. She propped herself up on her elbows and stared at her mom, who looked back, smiling gently.

"Mom, when's Dad going to be home?" she asked, tilting her head as she did so.

Her mother sighed and pulled her parka tighter around her neck. "I'm not sure, darling, but I'm sure he'll be home soon," She said, a delicate Russian accent hanging on her words. She stood. "I am going to go make us some lunch, alright?" Her mother walked into the house.

Gaia dropped back into the snow. Her father had been gone for almost two weeks. Why did he always have to go on these long excursions for his work? Why couldn't he just call in sick? Gaia knew that that was a very foolish thought. Who had ever heard of a CIA agent calling in sick?

"Gaia?"

---

Tom Moore watched his daughter's blonde head appear In the midst of the white, snowy oblivion. A smile crept across his face as he saw her jump up, running towards him as fast as she could in the deep snow.

He, however, stayed glued to the spot. It was something about Gaia's eyes, the blue, swirling orbs of innocence and happiness, that kept him from moving. She didn't seemed to be looking _at_ him; she seemed to be looking _through _him. Tom shook away the thought. He was home; he didn't need to keep acting like an agent for the time being.

Tom embraced his daughter, holding her tightly, as if it was the first time he'd ever hugged her.

She didn't need to say anything. The sheer happiness in her eyes, the way she hugged him, spoke volumes.__

I want to hold you  
Protect you from all of the things I've already endured  
I want to show you  
Show you all the things that this life has in store for you  
I'll always love you  
The way that a father should love his daughter

Tom stared over the chessboard, smiling at his daughter. "Check," he said. Gaia's eyes searched the chessboard, her brow creased in concentration. She swiftly relocated her king, moving him out of harm's way.

Tom's smile widened at his daughter's brilliance. Only twelve years old, and she was already his match at chess. Amazing.

He was about to move one of his pawns closer when he heard a sound. It was almost unnoticeable; a small _twang _upon the sounds of his wife in the kitchen and Gaia's giggling banter.

Tom's eyes widened, his pupils dilating. He dove across the chessboard, tackling Gaia to the ground. Gaia struggled against him, writhing and wriggling to get out from under his body. Tom pulled his gun from his belt.

He leaned upward enough to try to shoot his brother, but kept enough of his weight down to keep Gaia on the ground. He had to protect her…

That's when he remembered. _Katia… _ She was still in the kitchen. Had she been harmed? Tom stood and went to the kitchen. He stopped in the doorway. His brother stood on the opposite end of the kitchen. He raised his gun, his eyes glimmering with malice.

He pulled the trigger. Tom flinched, preparing his body for contact with the bullet. But, he didn't feel it. All that he felt was the searing pain as he felt his heart break inside of him. As he saw his wife being killed.

_   
  
When I walked out this morning  
I cried as I walked to the door  
I cried about how long I'd be away for  
I cried about leaving you all alone_

Tom sat in the cold, vacant waiting room of the hospital, tears slowly sliding from his eyes and rolling down his cheek. He glanced over at his daughter. Her once beautiful eyes were now swollen and bloodshot; her normally gorgeous golden hair was now hanging in straggly lochs around her face. Tom had never seen her so distraught.

He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it before any words could come out. What was he supposed to say to Gaia? Was there really something that he could tell his daughter to console her, when he himself needed to be comforted as much as she did? Tom rested his elbows on his thighs and dropped his forehead into his hands. Sobs began to rack his body, his shoulders heaving.

Tom lifted his head and wiped his eyes. He had to be strong. For Gaia. For himself.

He turned to his daughter. She didn't return the glance. She just stared in front of her, out into space. Tom leaned in and hugged her, holding her to him and nestling his face in the crook of her neck. He held her for what seemed like days. He wished they were. He wished that he could hold her forever, hold her until the world ended.

But he couldn't. Tom released his daughter, his arms feeling heavy and numb. He stood, casting one more loving glance at his daughter. She looked up at him, confusion glowing in her sad eyes.

Tom turned and began to walk away, slinking down the long, hospital corridor towards the exit. He had to leave. He had to do it to keep Gaia safe. To keep her out of harm's way. He had to do it because he loved her, because he knew that she would be safe if he was away from her. He wouldn't let her fall into Loki's hands. He wouldn't let her be hurt. He wouldn't let her befall the same fate that his beloved Katia had.

Tears began to roll down Tom's cheeks. He didn't want to leave his daughter alone, but he had no choice. He had to go away… to protect her.

_  
  
I want to hold you  
Protect you from all of the things I've already endured  
I want to show you  
Show you all the things that this life has in store for you  
I'll always love you  
The way that a father should love his daughter_

Tom leaned back in his chair, balancing it on two legs. How long had he been in France, now? No, better question: How long had he been away from home; away from Gaia? It seemed like centuries, maybe a millennium. But no, it had been just over five years. Five agonizing years that had seemed to creep by like snails.

A sigh escaped from Tom's lips. He ran a hand through his short-cropped hair. Oh what he would give if he could see his daughter. To hold her, to tell her how much he loved her, that his vanishing act was all out of love for her. Tom really couldn't think of anything that he wouldn't give to be with Gaia. He missed her so much…

Tom closed his eyes and pressed his thumb and forefinger against his eyelids, trying to suppress any tears that threatened to come. He wished that he could be with Gaia. She was seventeen now. If he could be with her, he could teach her so many things; how to drive, how to get inside the minds of men so she could ensnare the perfect guy. He could show her everything that her life has to offer.

But no, instead he was stuck in a second-rate hotel room in France, waiting for a contact to reach him, and longing for his far-away daughter as he did so.

_  
  
Sweet Zoe Jane…_

Sweet Zoe Jane…  
  
So I wanted to say this  
Cuz I wouldn't know where to begin  
To explain to you what I have been through  
To explain where your daddy has been

Tom stared at his daughter. His eyes unblinking. Her cold, blue eyes stared back, the same confusion glowing in them that he had seen five years ago. She looked like a lost little child.

Tom opened his mouth to speak, but once again, didn't know what to say. What were the right words to tell his daughter why he'd abandoned her? What were the right words to tell her that he had left her alone out of love?

Tom stared at his daughter, his eyes softening and filling with tears. He finally knew what to say. Finally, after all of these years, he knew exactly what to say to his daughter…

_  
  
"I want to hold you  
Protect you from all of the things I've already endured  
I want to show you  
Show you all the things that this life has in store for you  
I'll always love you  
The way that a father should love his daughter."  
  
Sweet Zoe Jane…_

Sweet Zoe Jane…

Author's notes: w00t for the corny ending! Agh, please excuse any inaccurate information in this fic… I temporarily forgot what Gaia's mom and dad were supposed to look like… VV sorry. I'm also sorry about any chess inaccuracies… I never did like that game. =P


End file.
